Bondage for Beginners and What is BDSM

Ok, so let’s face it, we’ve all either watched, read or heard about the devilish antics of the international smash hit 50 Shades of Grey. But before the book and then blockbuster series of movies were released, what did you really know about the world of BDSM and bondage...

You’ve probably heard the phrase BDSM before but not actually known what it means or stands for? You automatically associate it with sex cults and dungeon debauchery! Or your friends have discussed bedroom bondage & kinky antics in the group chat and you’ve smiled and carried on like you know full well what they’re alluding to...

Fear not! This helpful bondage blog aims to break the shackles around the terminology associated with BDSM and offers some useful hints, tips and advice for those looking to get into the world of beginners’ bondage....

What is BDSM?

BDSM is a term that is used to describe various aspects of sexual activity that can be assigned to the following areas: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism and Masochism. However, the term BDSM is commonly referred to incorrectly as just Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism in many places.

A common misconception when people hear about BDSM and bondage is that it has to involve pain. Yes, there are elements of BDSM that can involve varying degrees of pain and discomfort between two consenting adults for the benefit of pleasure, but it can also just be an incredibly sensual, loving and passionate activity and experience. Bondage and BDSM can strengthen and enrich a relationship by building bonds of trust between two people and indulging your innermost delights and turn-ons as a couple.

A crucially important part of any bondage or other BDSM play is establishing rules and consent before the role-playing games get underway. A key aspect of BDSM is the roleplay of one person being submissive and the other dominating. Therefore, with the lines of consent having the potential to be blurred during the heat of passion, it’s important to use pre-established safe words to provide limits when getting tickled, spanked or tied etc.

What is meant by being dominant and submissive?

The first step in any bondage roleplay is to decide who will be playing the dominant role and who will be the submissive. Our in-house sexperts highly advise that you both swap and interchange roles regularly to ensure you both understand and experience being in control and sharing the sexual experiences of both roles. Simply put, the dominant role will exercise power and skill in controlling the submissive role in any bondage situation.

The dominant/submissive relationship can also be known as the top/bottom. So, in BDSM the ‘top’ is the dominant partner who controls the clamping, whipping, bondage restraints and gives out the spanking, while the ‘bottom’ is the submissive partner. But, in some situations the bottom can be the more dominant partner by insisting certain acts of their liking are performed by the top and even sometimes then demanding the swapping of roles.

The submissive role is one that demonstrates absolute trust to their partner, whilst also giving themselves up to learning more about their sexual desires and turn-ons through experimentation and loss of control. It is common for the roles of dominant and submissive to be expressed as polar opposites in the bedroom to that of everyday life, thus strengthening a relationship through balance, experimentation and expression.

Beginners’ bondage and BDSM sex toys

The demand and popularity for bondage toys have dramatically increased over recent years and in particular with the infamy of the 50 Shade of Grey novels and movies. This has even led to their own incredibly popular 50 Shades of Grey sex toy and accessories collection! If you’re looking to expand your sexual horizons with some beginners’ bondage by using bondage sex toys and accessories, there are plenty of great products from you to choose from.

To start with just keep it simple with some sensory deprivation. The use of a blindfold on the wearer stops them from seeing what’s happening, or about to happen, which often heightens other senses resulting in a greater orgasm. Partner this with a pair of handcuffs or bed restraints preventing them from moving – allowing total control. People are often put off bondage by the thought of metal, leather and chains; but that doesn’t have to be the case. Satin and lace fans can feel comfortable in the knowledge that bondage can be powerful, yet gentle and there are plenty of bondage accessories out there perfectly suited for that gentle touch.

But it’s important to remember that if you feel a slight tingling then they’re too tight and the restraints should be loosened. Predominantly the sight and feeling of restraint is enough to pique the senses in bondage roleplay and so the tightness of the bonds is secondary.

For that extra roleplay fun why not try our sexpert top rated SXY Bondage Tape, in a dazzling dark colour, which unlike rival products, this bondage tape sticks to itself and not you, allowing pain free fun! Perfect for enhancing the bondage experience as an added extra.

A great way to get started on your beginners’ BDSM and bondage journey is a simple bondage kit. They come with beginners’ accessories that are not intimidating to use but are also perfect fun to experiment with. Remember to enjoy the journey and experiment along the way, whilst keeping in mind it’s a game between two partners looking to explore a new side to each other. Get the basics right first, there’s a little while yet before you start thinking of dungeons.......